BRAINBOMB
BrainBomb is a biography about bipolar disorder.
The story commences when I am taken by ambulance, with a police escort, to a locked ward in a psychiatric Hospital.
There are flashbacks to a lifestyle whirling around constant shiftwork, binge-drinking, toking, and promiscuity in Edinburgh night clubs, leading to deepening stress, insomnia, agoraphobia and depression. After a complete breakdown, there follows a painstaking recovery. Along the way I reignite my love of music by listening to John Peel and rediscover creative writing. Then my bipolar scale soars again. My mind spiralling into unnatural euphoria, I start writing a novel then destroy the manuscript. I smoke spliffs before going to church. I listen to Madchester music and my old punk vinyl through the night. I begin another journey towards the light at the end of the bipolar tunnel ...
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publication dateA version of BrainBomb was published in 2009, written as a semi-autobiographical novel, containing elements of fantasy, and released on a limited print-run.
The 2020 remix has been completely revamped and re-written as a biography, including extracts from my actual psychiatric case file. Currently it is going through a few final edits before publication this summer. |
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brainbomb: backgroundI came from a stable, loving family in Edinburgh, had an active social life, wrote short-stories that were published, went through the whole punk thing, playing in bands, gigging across Scotland, getting airplay...
... only to fall seriously ill with depression and put on long-term anti-psychotic drugs... This is what happened. |
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brainbomb excerpt: lowSigned-off work with stress, I'm actually undergoing a serious mental episode. Today I've tuned into TV coverage of the Tory party conference being held in the Winter Gardens in Blackpool. My delusions spiralling out of control, I think the latest speaker, Norman Tebbit, isn't addressing the crowd. He's talking directly to me.
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brainbomb excerpt: highBrainBomb describes the downs and ups of bipolar disorder. If the downs represent depression, apathy, and paranoia, the ups, characterised by constant elation, are surely less distressing? No.
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brainbomb excerpt: RECOVERYAfter a downward spiral of depression, memories of pogoing to Stiff Little Fingers during my punk youth helped to spark a painstaking recovery.
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