Clinton sex scandal ... Not that one

The Clintons, eh? Firstly we had Bill. In 1998, while occupying the most powerful political position on the globe as US Commander in Chief, he was forced to deny responsibility for semen stains on the dress of one Monica Lewinsky, a 22-year-old White House intern. During the ensuing lawsuit he insisted he had never contacted her "genitalia, anus, groin, breast, inner thigh, or buttocks", and claimed the agreed-upon definition of "sexual relations" included giving oral sex but excluded receiving oral sex.

Fast-forward to 2010. On Friday 24 September, Bill's long-suffering wife Hillary, US Secretary of State, was forced to make a far more grovelling statement. By way of apologizing to the 13 million inhabitants of Guatemala. Why? It has finally come to light that US government medical researchers carried out horrific experiments on Guatemalan citizens between 1946 and 1948.

Hundreds, including institutionalized mental patients, were infected with gonorrhoea and syphilis without their knowledge. They were then encouraged to transmit the diseases, all in a completely unethical attempt to test penicillin.

Granted, the US government has at least gone on the record to take the rap for this monstrous scandal. But a familiar pattern emerges. Far too many stable doors are tentatively squeezed shut long after the horse has wound up in that great glue factory in the sky. At least US companies with trade links to their Central American neighbours can rest a bit easier.